Conviction

So I sit here listening to my "Death Cab for Cutie Station" on Pandora. At this moment, Iron & Wine is playing and it's making me a happy camper. A band I do not normally listen to, but I like it. Lately, I have been wanting to do a lot more with my photography. Maybe selling... Not sure. For some reason I crave that feeling of being noticed for something I feel I am good at. Not just how good I do at my job. I have one very good friend who is interested in showing a few pictures in her new apartment, which I LOVE! The title for this blog is kind of implying what I want in life. I need to stay more convicted to my photography. Actually putting the effort needed into it. On that note, I am off to decide what I shall be doing Friday!

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I've placed myself upon a structure, one that may be monumental to some. But not to those merely because of height, but merely because of the modern beauty and "necessity" which makes it up. The night is that of explosions, smacks, pops and glory. Upon where I am placed, I receive a panoramic view of what may become but am uninspired. The overbearing enormity of those forms that appear for three seconds at somewhat wasted on me. I try to appreciate them for their galore to the others in proximity but cannot. Instead my mind turns to lesser things than the expected feeling that comes with the forms. I've made concrete decision in my mind at this point, because I am disappointed with the seek for inspiration, making these decision as concrete as warming ice. What does it mean to look for this thing that makes you want to run to the walls and see what sticks?

What we do is we create them. We close our eyes and make them real. There is no shame in this, only satisfaction. If we are able to bring them into this world, we are makers. We are the most divine of all beings. We take, twist and mutilate elements in hopes to bring reverence or understanding. Both of these are selfish.